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McGroin's Super Duper Promotion Guide


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Father Pat McGroin

A reader writes...

...Dear Father Pat McGroin,

I can't seem to rank very fast. Why is that?

Hopeless is Haiti

...Dear Hopeless,

It's because you suck!


Well our friend hopeless here is hopeless, but you don't have to be. I'm going to step you through the keys to quickly ranking here in the realm. Follow these tips and you too will be a force to be reckoned with.

First thing you need to do is your crimes. Get yourself a timer and do them like clockwork every three minutes. This will do two things for you. First, you will need the stat points that crimes give you in the higher ranks or you will stagnate at around level 7 for a while. DO LOTS OF CRIMES! Also, because you will suck at them in the beginning, you can also start training your dungeon breaking.

Dungeon breaking is a tough one to train but well worth it if you get good at it. What I did at the early ranks was withdraw tons of cash to constantly pay my bail everytime I got caught. This works best early on as your bail is kinda low. Trying it at higher levels ate up most of my bank account. So work it early and work it fast. Avoid cities with very little activity. While there is no competition for breaking people out, once you have released all five, your pretty much playing with yourself.

Next thing you need to do is find a sugar daddy. Someone about the same rank as you to attack. (Note: Will the person that has been continually kicking my ass please knock it off?) Defense is the other stat that stagnates everyone. You can avoid this by making sure you do all your random attacks in the city searches. I do all of mine even though it is slow as hell and I make sure I buy the max searches every two hours as well. I also make sure to do an attack every hour whether I think I will win or lose. This is also an expensive venture. It got to a point where I ran out of BM and had to let my stats refresh manually. Needless to say, no attacks for about a day when that happens.

Thankfully the Forbidden City is there to help me restock. If you have the donator package, you can do the FC searches about every 12 days and it's worth your while.

The rest is time. Stick around long enough and someone will have to promote you.

Thank you for your time.

February 28, 2008 10:30 pm

Father Pat McGroin

I meant to say under the crimes section that you should start at the lowest level and continue there until you get no failures at all, then move up a level. The quicker you can progress up the levels, the faster you will rank. February 28, 2008 10:32 pm

Mister Yum Yum

Darn it, who the heck pressed the 'send' button before me? I would've been first to bask in the criticisms...of the first Man Siren ever! February 28, 2008 10:45 pm


Stagnate at level 7? Stagnate at level 7? Oh is THAT what has happened to me is called. ****giggles wildly****

And your right, if your stick around long enough then SOMEONE is going to get tired of seeing your sorry stuck arse and promote you just to get you off their back. LOL

**Ducks and runs**
February 29, 2008 01:19 am


Thanks Pop, that's great help to a lot of people. Here's a little more on defense, I have told a lot of Blood Tide members this.

To help defense you should equip the best defensive weapon and shield that you can, ignore attacks those are easy compared. Also make sure you get a familiar and all your defensive skill training before your attack skill training. When fighting use the Normal attack, this gives you more rounds of attack and more chances of your victim missing you. That is what you are looking for...the other person missing you. The more they miss, the better your defense is.
February 29, 2008 01:38 pm


** Finally crossed that dreaded level 7 mark.** thanks Demon and Mcgroin for all your help.

I do appricate it.
February 29, 2008 02:48 pm

Father Pat McGroin

I can't stress enough the value of building your crimes as fast as possible. It is truly one of the blocks to ranking. February 29, 2008 04:39 pm

Mr 47

Hey, is it even legal for you to call yourself "Father Pat" any more? Don't you have to at least add "excommunicated" to your name? I would think that the church would frown on having a priest such as yourself. Especially after the deal with the altar boys. And the holy water. And the sacramental wafers. Oh and don't forget what you did in the pope's hat. March 02, 2008 12:17 pm

Father Pat McGroin

Hey man! What goes confessional stays confessional! March 03, 2008 05:33 am


*Her ears perk up at the sound of a familiar voice, she grins and goes to investigate. Suddenly as she approaches she remember tales from her grandmother about a certain man of the cloth and his confessional antics...*

Excuse me sir, is it true that you once gathered an entire midget football team into one confessional and asked them all to ....

*She blushes as she notices the strange looks from those around her...*

On second thought maybe we should discuss this in private.. Please, a coffee shop or something, I don't do confessionals..
March 04, 2008 12:31 am


*He marches up proudly with a midget football team happily gathered behind him. After hearing the words of Ms. Molson he turns around and waves the football team away as he mouths, "Sorry, not now... not now. Go!"* March 04, 2008 10:49 pm


-=He walks in giggling at the sound of Father Pat McGroin. He suddenly busts out laughing and says.-Hey I am Panzer sorry but I can not help but to laugh right now. I do not think I was supposed to mix pixie sticks, sugar, coke and rockstar with a splash of peprmint extract. March 05, 2008 01:40 am

Mr 47

The thing with the midgets? Absolutely true. You could hear their screams for miles. But that was after the excommunication, I believe. March 05, 2008 03:18 pm

Father Pat McGroin

Once you go midget you never go...ah crap. March 05, 2008 05:52 pm

Lavender Myst

Demon Get out of that corner and give the midget underwear magazine back to now Mr. McGroin! I'm sure Mr 47 wants to look over his shoulder. Damn you'd think they could afford better.

*just couldn't resist*
March 06, 2008 01:39 am
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